Maybe you Just Haven’t Found your People
Let’s talk about relationships. I’ve heard people say things like,
“I feel like I don’t even know how to socialize. I feel so awkward around people. I’m not who I used to be. I don’t know how to make friends or have small talk anymore.”
It wasn’t until recently, when I heard a long-time friend say this exact sentiment, that it struck me:
Maybe you just haven’t found your people.
Inherent in human existence is the need to belong. The need for connection is ever-present in our DNA. But what happens when you look around a room and feel as alone as ever? Or when you walk away from a party feeling self-conscious and awkward?
Rather than believing you’re socially awkward, I challenge you to consider that you are lacking genuine relationships.
Think back to the last time you felt socially awkward. Who were you surrounded by? Was the conversation particularly interesting? Did the people you were with make an effort to learn about you? Or did you spend the entire time hearing about everyone else? I’d be willing to bet when you are around people who make you feel important and alive, you don’t feel socially awkward.
So that brings me to my next question:
When is the last time you felt worthy?
When is the last time you felt special?
Or loved?
(Ok, that was three questions…)
If you’re feeling worthy, special, and loved, I’d be surprised if you also felt socially awkward at the same time. Perhaps the solution is: rather than trying to diagnose and fix social awkwardness, we focus on building genuine connections with people who excite you. Building connections with people who make you feel valued and accepted.
It’s easy to feel less than when you are in the presence of people who aren’t meant to be in your inner circle.
It’s ok to take an inventory of your relationships to discern who you are better off with, and who you are better off without. Write down your values in your relationships and find people who embody those values. And perhaps, allow yourself the option to create some distance between yourself and the people who make you feel less than your whole, beautiful self.